Those of you who don’t know, I almost killed my boyfriend, Chester, and I this weekend when I thought the fire in my fireplace was out and I closed the flew in my apartment. Hours went by until my carbon monoxide detector went off and told us to “Move to fresh air.” We went outside, freaked.
Part of my nausea may have been psychosomatic but I think we truly had been mildly poisoned. This, during a time in our relationship where we need to work hard to maintain a balance of support, presence and honesty, gave us a bond to hold on to. And I am not sure how these things relate but today I watched an interview with yoga teacher, Elena Brower, and she spoke of cultivating harmony in a way that resonated with me.
We encounter harmony balances every day in our lives. When in harmony, we are happy, feel that we have purpose and we are producing good for ourselves and everyone around us. When we are dissonant we feel sad, angry, helpless, hopeless, worthless…etc. So how can we practice moving towards harmony? How can we navigate through jarring, painful, cacophonous scenarios to end up back in that place where you feel you are doing what you were meant to do in your life? These are rhetorical questions, but if we don’t ask them, then we persist in the dark.
I liken it to the dial on the radio…slowly turn the dial back and forth between static until you hear the perfect crisp sound of Beyonce’s voice. Unfortunately, life isn’t as easy as turning a dial, unless that dial is coated in a stickyish, crusty, hard substance and you want to hear “Halo” SO BADLY but you can’t..seem..to move..the damn..dial. It is HARD work that requires at first incessant reminders to move towards harmony. I am beginning to understand that this is the power of a mantra. The saying of over and over and over and over again until those words become a natural PART of your being. This process is impossible without authenticity, presence and intention. Not to mention dedication. Many people dedicate themselves to a variety of things: running marathons, writing a book, practicing yoga every day. So why don’t we dedicate that same work and time to creating harmony in ourselves?
“That, I feel, is something that takes time. It takes patience, it takes teachers and it takes resilience. And it’s funny, I sometimes wonder, ‘is that really true? Is harmony something can requires resilience? and fortitude and vigilance even?’ And I still say Yes. For right now I still say yes, I might get older and think differently but I’ve had to really pay attention in order to get myself to a place where I really feel like I’m making music with the people that are closest to me and not making this disastrous discord.” -Elena Brower